Functional vs Dysfunctional Behaviors in Your Meetings

June 11, 2025

Functional vs Dysfunctional Behaviors: What’s Happening in Your Meetings?

For newcomers and regular readers alike, here's your brief refresher on SPACES, your compass for meaningful facilitation:

  • Safe: Fostering an environment of trust.
  • Positive: Staying curious rather than critical.
  • Align: Creating clear goals and shared focus.
  • Collaborate: Building collective solutions.
  • Empower: Enabling everyone’s voice and action.
  • Space: Allowing reflective pauses for insight.

Remember, SPACES is your presence, not just your process.

Every Room Tells a Story

You’ve felt it when you walk into a room, virtual or physical.

Sometimes the vibe hums with creativity, openness, and clear direction.

Other times, it buzzes with frustration, impatience, or the quiet wish to fast-forward.

If you’ve ever watched someone attempt to telepathically end a meeting, you know exactly what I mean.

Dysfunctional Behaviors: Recognizing the Roadblocks

Let's name the elephant(s) in the room. Dysfunctional behaviors aren't villainous, they’re simply unhelpful patterns that quietly sabotage meetings:

  • Hijacking: Dominating the conversation.
  • Interrupting: Cutting others off (often unintentionally).
  • Derailing: Going off on tangents or personal agendas.
  • Sarcasm: Humor that shuts down openness.
  • Withholding Information: Staying silent when your input could clarify or move forward.
  • Critiquing Without Contributing: Saying “That won’t work,” without offering alternative solutions.
  • Superficial Sharing: Vague input that adds no real value.
  • Disengaging: Scrolling, zoning out, nodding without listening.

These behaviors typically arise from fear, confusion, or lack of clarity, not malice. Recognizing them is the first crucial step toward shifting them.

Functional Behaviors: Cultivating Positive Patterns

Now, consider a meeting that energized and inspired you. Which of these behaviors likely played a role?

  • Genuine Listening: Truly hearing both spoken and unspoken insights.
  • Idea-Building Dialogue: “Yes, and…” moments that amplify collaborative creativity.
  • Validating Understanding: Checking in: “So, what I hear you saying is…”
  • Respectful Disagreement: “I see it differently, here's why…” without disconnecting.
  • Powerful Curiosity Questions: “What does success look like here?” or “How else might we approach this?”
  • Offering Options: “We could try this or perhaps consider that…”
  • Specific Examples: Sharing relatable stories and real use-cases.
  • Genuine Feedback: Honest, helpful, and actionable input.

Each functional behavior aligns with your SPACES compass, creating the trust, clarity, and momentum essential for productive meetings.

Practice Moment: Observe, Name, Redirect

Here’s a quick practice to shift from dysfunctional to functional:

  1. Observe: Notice one dysfunctional behavior in your next meeting.
  2. Name It Gently: Acknowledge without judgment. Example: “Let's finish hearing their thought first.”
  3. Redirect Using SPACES: Ask a powerful question like, “What haven't we explored yet?”

Small shifts can create significant changes. Remember, a gentle redirection, especially delivered with warmth or humor, can transform your meeting dynamics.

What Story Will Your Next Meeting Tell?

Every gathering tells a story, and as a facilitator, formal or informal, you hold the pen.

By consciously choosing functional behaviors and gently redirecting dysfunctional ones, you help create Changemaking Facilitation SPACES that foster genuine collaboration, alignment, and purposeful action.

Reflect:

  • Which behaviors do you most often see?
  • Which ones do you personally embody?
  • What small shift can you practice in your next meeting?

Facilitation is a continuous dance of awareness and adjustment.

Ready to write a new meeting story?

Let's continue this journey together.